We all look back on the past with rose tinted specs, it's true. The streets were safer, the summers were warmer and Wagon Wheels were definitely bigger! Joking aside there is a lot to be said about the things that were better back then. As a child of the seventies, I grew up knowing all my neighbours. This, of course, was not necessarily a good thing because if you were caught doing something wrong you would face a clip round the ear from Mrs Brown followed by a clip round the ear from your Mum when you got home. However, it did mean that because everyone knew everyone, the streets were safe to play on. Any strangers stood out like a sore thumb and if there was anyone with a dodgy past that you should avoid then you knew about it. The sense of community back then was something we all took for granted. No-one had much but what they had they were willing to share or lend knowing that there would soon come a time when they could call up that favour in return.
Playing outside was the norm. Climbing trees and getting dirty was expected. Cuts, scrapes and bruises were things to be proud of. Childhood diseases like measles and chicken pox were things to be crossed off a list. If one kid got something, then we were expected to try to catch it too. Better to get it over and done with because everyone knew that it was better to catch these things when you were young.
There was only one thing that us kids were scared of - authority. Or as we called it then - adults. There was a certain amount of healthy fear of your parents, your teachers, the police and any other grown ups. Any one of them had the right to call you up on your mistakes or naughtiness. Rudeness to an adult was not tolerated under any circumstances. A child was never allowed to call an adult by their first name. The closest we came would be to call someone "Aunty" Shirley even if they weren't related. Adults deserved our respect because they looked out for us and looked after us and this was just one simple way of showing it. I'm not quite old enough to remember "children should be seen and not heard" but I'm not far off. A child could never answer back an adult. The expression "you're grounded" was not used back then. That Americanism took a few more years to make it over here. At home, we faced being sent to our room without dinner or, if it was something major, a good spanking. At school, we faced being sent to the Headmaster for a good telling off or even the cane. It never did us any harm. It was how we learnt right from wrong.
I never got spanked as a child because I was terrified of doing anything so bad to warrant it. My elder sisters did and I saw it. It instilled enough fear in me that I avoided upsetting my mum or dad. One look from either of them was plenty of warning that I was getting close to that line and I would back off. My parents knew their children. They knew what punishment was necessary under what circumstances. They knew which child needed only a stern look and which child needed a red arse.
There is a very big difference between a spanking and physical abuse. No child under any circumstances deserves abuse and it is never ever justifiable. However, some kids do need a spanking. That can take the form of a slap on the buttocks or top of the leg or a slap across the back of the hand. Children need to be taught right from wrong and sometimes, for some kids, a stern word is not enough.
We now have a whole generation of children that were not smacked and did not face corporal punishment at school. They have no respect for rules or the law because they have never faced any consequences for their actions. A ten minute detention is not incentive enough to behave in class. The power to discipline has been taken away from our parents and our teachers. A teacher that tells off a child is more likely to receive a visit from an abusive parent than receive their apologies. In my day, if you got in trouble at school you would get in trouble at home as soon as your parents found out. My mum and dad would have felt guilty for being a bad parents and would have supported the school's decision to punish me. Not so nowadays. Parents have forgotten to teach their children their place. They have forgotten to teach respect.
A parent that smacks their child is threatened with a call to Social Services. A school-child that is kept in at lunchtime claims their Human Rights have been violated.
I don't believe that this Nanny Society we have created, wrapping our kids up in cottonwool is an improvement. I believe it is the chief cause of our failings in the youth of today. Discipline and control needs to be taught, it is not something we are born with. If no-one is allowed to teach us right from wrong, then how will we learn? I may not have actually been smacked by my parents but I did suffer a few well aimed chalkboard rubbers in the classroom. It never did me any harm.
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